brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
