when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
