I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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