We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
