My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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