like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
