well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
