Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
