Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
