He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I believe in your delicious
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
