I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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