Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
