He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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