My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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