I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
