Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
