puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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