The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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