One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
