There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
