I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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