The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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