Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
