make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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