Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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