exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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