You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
