he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
