I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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