How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
