I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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