I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
