im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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