How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
