Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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