He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
