I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
