I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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