everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm passing your future prison.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
