I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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