So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
