1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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