maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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