Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
