Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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