I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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