Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
