I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
