Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
