where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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