he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
