She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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