It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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