It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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