finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
