just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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