This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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