things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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