I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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