What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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