you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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